Originally Posted by
420Somewhere
On a planet far less civilized than the Mondoshawans, there was a strange blue glow and rising tide that completely obscured the approaching ships and their bristling, bright purple whiskers, and ZF1 guns. And even with their advanced technology, all surrendered before the ship began to corkscrew wildly. While sirens sang to all gods, panic ensued on and everyone ran while captain sat down and commanded to the crows, "Kill them all! Kill'em wit fire and green jello! Man the cannons, but be gentle. Don't scratch the paint on my brand new cannons." So they hastily got turtle wax for Captain Cosby's pretty diving board and bounced high into the sky.
Meanwhile, the planet's waka headhunters burned their polka records. Huge flames spread across the savagelands as Captain Cosby called Captain Malkin a big cheesehead. Cosby laughed hard, and he proclaimed that EVERYONE included shall have Jell-o with rainbow sprinkles (but no balloons) til chores are given to monkeys that can fly at the speed of lint. Malkin grabbed his butt in surprise. Monkeys turned to perverts (and flung poo) and sent to the place where all Waka headhunters learn their new powers of wisdom and get supplies for the Great Feast of Eating! This Feast normally happens on Tuesday when the planets destroy each other with pew pew sounding bubblegum guns that unfortunately didn't make pink, sticky bubbles, as indicated by the Emperor. Instead, they just continually exploded until the planet's crust calmly exploded into smaller, explodier explosions which exploded like an overripe pimple that had no acidic puss inside.
Meanwhile, in space Waka headhunters were putting out fires aboard the battlecruiser "Explody Splode McSploder" while they traveled naked, looking for something warm to feed to the Great Pit of Carkoon.
Meanwhile, on the golf course some nouveau-riche types played strip poker in their dreams and farted along whilst singing loudly the Teletubbies song. The Akahi warriors looked elsewhere, embarrassed, and very worried. The Teletubbies armed themselves with supersonic Energizer bunny devices in the bedroom of a hot video game developer who knew that their only weakness was old people with Rubik's cubes crafted in hellfire and strawberry ice-cream and opossum fur and funkadelic groove.
Now that the gap-toothed armadillo lover had opera tickets, a horrible ascot, and a terrible flea infested toupee, it was time (natch) for bingo! And then we discovered the Legos while we wandered the stars, looking for an answer which was 42. Armed with that he ventured onward and upward to a local Starbucks to be fleeced unmercifully, for a rock hard scone to throw at the annoying person whose hair is the color of the purple Teletubbie during a thunderstorm.
Played a guitar
