Bad Santa,
I hope this letter finds you in fine form, in fact knowing the postal service I hope you get it at all. I did put a few dollars in with the card for you to enjoy some festive cheer, although if the letter arrived empty then we both know who took it.
Christmas is coming and times are tough,
Battle is imminent and time to fight rough
Our warriors are lean, mean and keen,
And our faction is in need of your green,
Consider our faction vae victus as the recipients of your generous offer, we solemnly promise to be better boys n girls next year, we can't promise that we were good this year and in all honesty I don't think we will be that good next year.
We are not saints we are sinners and we will try to be better but then again we might not.
We can't promise not to spend your bounty on wine, women and song and then fritter the rest away on shiney trinkets
We can't even promise to be entirely grateful, as we are spoiled kids who cry and sulk when we don't get our own way.
We can't even promise to let you into our faction, ok you might make the daily required donations but what about wd points?
So bad Santa we know two things. Firstly you are on the horns of a dilemma, secondly the post man is a robbing b@$78rd