Assault & Flattery & Big & Money

[ablankone]

As A&F unintentionally begins to establish herself as the Mother Theresa of CC, and BigMoney - our Gandhi I believe it's time we understood more about their backgrounds - who they are, from where they evolved, what made them who they are today and where we see them being in the long term (ie. 12 months from now). I'm in the process of writing an unofficial biography (a duography) and could really do with a bit more material.

What I have managed to determine:

1. A&F is definitely a she. An interesting discovery and one which prompts me (amongst others) to ask:
1a. Is BigMoney also a she?
1b. Is BigMoney and A&F one and the same?

2. A&F has a cat. Interestingly so does BigMoney. Therefore:
2a. Did A&F inspire BigMoney to get a cat? Or did BM inspire A&F? Who's cat came first?
2b. Do cats lay eggs?
2c. If, indeed, BM and A&F are one and the same - and both have different pictures of cats as their avatars - does A&F aka BM actually have 2 cats?

3. BM definitely has a CC account - BM regularly beats me up so I know this as fact.
3a. Am sure A&F must have a CC account too. If so:
3b. What is her CC identity?
3c. Which syn is she in?
3d. Are there any particular players in CC that she likes to pick on regularly?
3e. Does she get any free or discounted perks (like a special modifier/pacifier, all the gold in China) from working at Gree and knowing the head programmer? Is the programmer called Alex?
3f. Are all Gree employees at it?
3g. Is Alex constantly surrounded by fake friends who just want to up their stats?
3h. Or is Alex really A&F and BM? Mobile Device Count: 3... or is he actually the company cat?
3i. Are all Alex's actually manufactured by Gree and placed there to monitor us?

4. A&F gets paid well. She went on holiday to France. Now unless she already lives in France, that means she's making a mint! Which begs the questions:
4a. Does she pay for her holiday with cash or gold?
4b. Who looked after her cat while she was drinking wine on small Paris streets?
4c. Did she drink the red or the blanc stuff?
4d. Did she drink it out of a brown paper bag?
4e. Does drinking wine and owning a cat really serve as a reliable indication that she is single?

5. BM is probably retired. BM dedicates all available time to keeping us all happy and informed. We love BM whilst being somewhat scared of A&F (she likes to ban people). Which leads to:
5a. Is BM "Assault"s alter ego "Flattery"?
5b. Is BM really retired? Or does BM actually work undercover at Gree?
5c. Did BM also go to Paris? Or did BM have to stay at home to look after the cats?
5d. This considered, if BM is indeed A&F - did A&F really go to Paris?
It just doesn't stack up!

6. BM got banned at least once. Probably by A&F. So my final question must be:
6a. Was A&F just angry at herself?

[Rebels]

Lol... Great thread.

But did man really walk on the moon?

[BigMoney]

What in the hell.

1a. I'm a dude.
1b. No, I am not A&F.
2a. My cat is 13 years old.
-addendum- the cat in the avatar is not my cat.

5. BM regularly plays CC, but he is constantly exasperated at how inept GREE is in dealing with obvious cheaters. Unless you mean retired in real life, in which the answer to that is no.
5a. If you were to ask the players I regularly hit (their tags all have a five-letter last name written in alternating caps), I believe they'd tell you that, if anything, I'm more of the "Assault" type. Or you can check my wall, you know, either or.
5b. I am not a GREE employee, but if they'd ever like to subsidize my gold costs...
5c. I have never been to France.

6. I think I was banned by Sirius, although the timing of the ban (5 days after the posts I believe I was banned for) coincided with CJ54's return.

[Kill0r]

Made my day

[ablankone]

mmmm.... I dunno BM... there's some inconsistencies. Last year you were telling us your cat was 12. So which one's correct?

What in the hell.

1a. I'm a dude.
1b. No, I am not A&F.
2a. My cat is 13 years old.
-addendum- the cat in the avatar is not my cat.

5. BM regularly plays CC, but he is constantly exasperated at how inept GREE is in dealing with obvious cheaters. Unless you mean retired in real life, in which the answer to that is no.
5a. If you were to ask the players I regularly hit (their tags all have a five-letter last name written in alternating caps), I believe they'd tell you that, if anything, I'm more of the "Assault" type. Or you can check my wall, you know, either or.
5b. I am not a GREE employee, but if they'd ever like to subsidize my gold costs...
5c. I have never been to France.

6. I think I was banned by Sirius, although the timing of the ban (5 days after the posts I believe I was banned for) coincided with CJ54's return.

[Muj]

You guys got waaaay too much time lol

[Putri Hazel]

lol... and are you retired ablankone? you had the time to get all these figured out!

[SOGO]

2a. My cat is 13 years old.

mmmm.... I dunno BM... there's some inconsistencies. Last year you were telling us your cat was 12. So which one's correct?

Alright maybe there's something else I'm missing here, but if his cat was 12 last year, wouldn't it be 13 this year? How is that inconsistent?

[rohan007]

This post made my day! Hahahahaha. The most funniest thread i've ever read. Nice observations btw. Waiting for the answers.:-D :-D ;-)

[BigMoney]

Alright maybe there's something else I'm missing here, but if his cat was 12 last year, wouldn't it be 13 this year? How is that inconsistent?

I take it he's making a funny.

I wasn't even here last year.

[Frigo]

Lol, funny thread, you have way to much time on your hand ablankone. x)

[MattThomas08]

Good thread, it's time somebody finally looked into some conspiracies around here.

3. A&F has a "tricked out" CC account. If I had to guess, I'd say it's in Rogues Gallery or FC. All that insider playing man. But seriously, not sure if her account is visible, but seems unlikely it is. If so, probably very low level.

4. A&F stated that her well-to-do significant other was nice enough to finance her trip to Paris. I wouldn't look too much into Gree paying massive sums to their employees, although there was talk of CJ having a golden hot tub in the back of a car.

5. BM isn't retired. In fact he's never worked. He lives in his parents basement. You have to call him Dragon.

[BigMoney]

5. BM isn't retired. In fact he's never worked. He lives in his parents basement. You have to call him Dragon.

I told you that in confidence, MT! *runs off crying*


Edit: seems not everyone knows a joke when they read one.

[ablankone]

BREAKING NEWS

I think I've made a breakthrough as to the identity of Assault & Flattery. It took some finding.

FACT
Real Name: Anne Elizabeth "Holly" Woods

FACT
Born in Durham, North Carolina, 1953

FACT
Fronted a band call Sass, and another called Gambler. Sold 700,000 albums: In Canada. Reached Number 2 in Uzbekistan with a value-for-money double sided hit single: Cat o' Nine Tales/Lifetime Band.

FACT
Popular hits included: Lookin' for Trouble, Get It on Credit, Start Tellin' the Truth, Where Are We Now?, Cats & Dogs, Assault and Flattery

FACT
Album Cover, titled 'Toronto', features Assault & Flattery in a cat-like posture.Toronto_aaf.jpg

[hawkeye_9]

wow, you're teeing it up pretty well for A&F...she could have a lot of fun with this if she wants. Funny thread, though.