Once upon a time, in a game far, far away!
Old King Fuzio was bored one day, and he called for the royal game maker. He said, "Build me a game." The royal game makers thought and thought. They wanted to make King Funzio happy.
King Funzio was a brave warrior. His Majesty led the Funzites to win many battles. The royal game makers created a game called, "Ancient War." Old King Funzio was very happy and his Funzites were, too. They played "Ancient War" and all was good within the Land of Funzio.
Old King Funzio wanted to make the people really, really love him. So his best adviser, Jarhead the Magnificent said, "Sire, why dost thee not deploy the NO-NO?" Old King Funzio asked, "What is this NO-NO, Jarhead?"
Jarhead the Magnificent said, "Majesty, it will make the people very happy. The nobles will not like it so much, sire, but you're the King. Nobelesse Oblige, Sire."
And so it came to pass in the Land that was Funzio, the people played and many loved the NO-NO. But, as with all happiness, some grew disenchanted rapidly. Some felt cheated, and unrest began to brew.
Sir Gree grew unhappy. Sir Gree decided to overthrow Old King Funzio. And, he battled Old King Funzio, and his army won.
Sir Gree named himself Emperor Gree. He called the conquered people, Greelings. He changed "Ancient War", and called it "Modern War".
Things were great, as is the way with these things. Old King Funzio was but a memory, and Emperor Gree soon came to be beloved and revered. Emperor Gree was pleased.
Emperor Gree saw the people were becoming unhappy. They loved Emperor Gree and he knew it.
The no-no was deployed to enchant some people Old King Funzio was attempting to exhort to spend money from his nobles. Somehow, Emperor Gree thought giving near invincibility to many to thwart a few to be foolish, and financially unsound. The few just took it for a very long time.
Emperor Gree saw the stupidity of Old King Funzio's Folly, the no-no. Emperor Gree created and deployed the YES-YES. The many received what they had bought, NOTHING.
Count Crass was dispatched by Emperor Gree to calm and soothe the sheeple. Count Crass was very clever. He had a way with words. Count Crass could say things and the people believed him. Count Crass' oratory was supreme. The people were soothed.
The few, which by now had grown by many, were spending a pretty penny. The few, the nobles believed, were freeloading. Emperor Gree is very financially savvy. Emperor Gree believed in giving his subjects ONLY what they buy, sometimes.
Actually, that's very smart, but also kinda creepy. If you buy a pound of coffee, you don't expect two pounds. But, when you buy a pound of coffee sometimes, you just spend the money to buy the coffee, and never get the coffee. But, I digress.
If you want an indestructible army, buy one was Emperor Gree's message. But, Emperor Gree wanted the people to "pay to play". Otherwise, those other trinkets ain't nothing but popcorn waiting to run into someone's popper.
The Nobles no longer cared, but the rabble became displeased. The gnashing of teeth by the rabble has begun. That's why Old King Funzio deployed the no-no. Old King Funzio would sometimes listen, rarely cared, but hated noise.
Emperor Gree cares about one thing, profit in his mighty realm. As the coins fell on his counting room floor, the noise can't be heard, just the jingle of profit. The Nobles are smiling, the rabble are whining, and a silly game still gets played. Emperor Gree knows a many, many things.
The YES-YES is here to stay. But, if the no-no returns, it won't be by Emperor Gree's royal decree? Either way, I just don't care. You shouldn't either.
All hail Emperor Gree. Long live, Emperor Gree.
Count Crass, we love you, too. Please keep the subjects informed.
Your faithful and obedient servant, Sir Insane of Idiocy
Originally Posted by PIRATE JUSTICE
No-No-YeS-YeS
