actually I believe you had today...... let me look it up here...... yup you had today, see even when you're right you're wrong! LOLOriginally Posted by Dipstik
actually I believe you had today...... let me look it up here...... yup you had today, see even when you're right you're wrong! LOL
Excuses are like @ssholes, everybody has one and most of them STINK!
Western Hemisphere is the best! I bet Mr. Cool doesn't even know what an ijit is... Take that, JC
ummmm, fukkoff?
dyslexic much? Jog on little man.......
2, 8, 8.
Extras and such.
Santa shouldn't you be busy finding out who has been naughty or nice. Hoho ho
2, 10, 10.
You must be jokim Santa I do find that funny...ho ho ho
5, 7, 2.
Extras.
Please take some time away from the forum its getting alittle mutch thies days. Enjoy your childhood go meet some girls or blow something up.
CC Retired 10/22/11 to 12/16/13
Ok after spending 4 days in London , godsake what happened to my favorite city in the world !
no wonder QPR ,KOR , FIG , Dillinger, Burn went mental lol , people are used to one thing there, telling eachother rubbishe all day and pulling eachother legs ..
you know they cannot handle the truth anymore lol , no wonder Blair got reelected .
Anybody who come clean of telling rubbishe for years , is like oh WTF can we do lol .
JC truth is makes America looks like the promised land , man things sure has changed in 4 year of time .
THANK YOU for your thoughts on our political landscape...
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English.
We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Pee, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like little girls).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.1
3.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God save the Queen!
Last edited by Swearengen; 11-15-2012 at 06:14 AM.
THE SAMCRO / The IndiansTM
"Sometimes I wish we could hit them over the head, rob them, and throw their bodies in the creek." - Al Swearengen
Point by point responses...
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as F_U…
2. Out with the old and in with the new…
3. What day should we select to remember the glories of sending the redcoats packing?
4. Regarding the use of firearms you seem to have missed the point entirely. The English have used the guns throughout history to colon”ize” the world, perhaps more so than any other nation. Of course you don’t support private ownership of guns as imagine how “united”the UK would be if your Scottish & Irish Brethren had access to AR-15’s and Glocks (guns for you who don’t know those terms). Good save the Queen – Indeed!
You do have a point regarding lawyers and therapists, but the simple solution is just to turn the guns in the right direction.
5. A vegetable peeler can be a deadly weapon in the hands of a good southern redneck…
6. The roundabout is simply a said reflection of the English’s inability to decide what direction to turn. Instead you go round and round with no end in sight. Take a left, right, go straight or even embrace the “U” – the U turn that is.
I didn’t think the British had a sense of humor, hence the high suicide rate.
7. Why would we adopt the UK prices? We prefer large inefficient vehicles that we can pack with guns. Our vehicles act as political billboards, expressions of inadequacies, expressions of our diversity, and/or in some cases provide lodging.
8. Vinegar is for douches and any food advice from a region with perhaps the worst food menu options in the civilized world is a laugh.
9. Finally you are at least half right! That is big step forward for your kind. American-beer is piss in general, although some exceptions do exist, for example Shiner but I digress. If you claim Ireland as part of the UK, home to Guinness, than you may have a point. And I assume you do claim them as you have been claiming them for generations despite their resistance.
10. Are there any English actors other than Rowan Atkinson?
11. We all play soccer, every 10 year old child here plays it, boys and girls. It is a cute little activity, jogging around a grassy field, kicking the ball, and fun for everyone! As to why you have to act like complete maniacs in the UK in the stands is a little concerning, perhaps you need a therapist.
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. – agreed! It is a waste of time but to each his own.
13.. .Being JFK was Irish, I would assume it was some English bastard.
14. We will be waiting for that day. Been there, done that, sent you packing…
15. Sorry we work until 5pm no time for English slacking in the work day.
Last edited by Swearengen; 11-15-2012 at 07:33 AM.
THE SAMCRO / The IndiansTM
"Sometimes I wish we could hit them over the head, rob them, and throw their bodies in the creek." - Al Swearengen
Man, Joeycool's post was so funny and humorous, a master piece!
Your patriotism is certainly got out of hand. Stay cool man.
Hey I am glad Joey is back...He has always been funny as hell,take it for what it is - jokes.
Last edited by Swearengen; 11-15-2012 at 10:43 AM.
THE SAMCRO / The IndiansTM
"Sometimes I wish we could hit them over the head, rob them, and throw their bodies in the creek." - Al Swearengen
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