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I am a cow
06-17-2013, 11:50 PM
Have you got a story to tell? I'm bored tell me! Please keep story clean

bigman
06-18-2013, 07:44 PM
If you so bored m why don't you pm me and I give you somthing to do .. Wink

SGT Rud
06-19-2013, 06:06 AM
Recently we had a homeless guy pestering tennants of a high rise building in the area. My personal philosophy is not everyone needs a ticket or to go to jail. So I value in the ability to talk their ear off until they decide to leave. And as long as I am standing there, they are not bugging the tennants. This is as long as I am not busy with other things. My best story -

On November 22nd, 1963, aliens came down from mars. They learned from the secret service how to disguise themselves in turn for them to do the dirty work of the CIA. As you can guess from the date of their arrival as to what the first mission was. If you think he died from a bullet, you are led to believe that. He was really found deceased coated in a glowing orange paste. The aliens call it moon jelly. To make moon jelly, you need to have the purest water, which you can only get from melting ice found on asteroids. The ice must be melted by friction in zero gravity. The aliens then mix it with gases collected from exterior planets rings. They then consume the liquid. (Just so you know - this is where most of them begin to look bored). But how do they get the moon jelly on their prey? Well their body will naturally turn the substance inside their --- into the goop. Then they need to ej--ulate onto their prey. (This is where I will get one of two responses, 1st they walk away, or they are really into it and will follow me away from the building as I keep talking.) The CIA learned that the aliens could not just disguise themselves as humans, but as inatimate objects sitting around, fully functional so people would never know. They could sit there completely motionless, maste--ating to eject the moon jelly upon unsuspecting victims. After 24hrs, the jelly will completely liquify and slowly move its way to the ocean. The jelly needs the salt water to survive. Once it arrives into the salt water it begins to transform back to a jelly and will form a liquid coccoon around itself. During its 13 month incubation period, it will transform into what we know as a jelly fish. Most of the toxin from the moon jelly is gone as it was used to kill the victim, so the sting from a jelly fish isn't as potent. So if you ever get stung by a jelly fish, let if be known, that you were just stung by an aliens baby gravy.

In the time it takes me to tell this story while walking, we have now arrived at the homeless shelter and the person I was escorting usually wants to go inside. Please PM me if you have any further questions regarding moon jelly.

I am a cow
06-19-2013, 05:28 PM
Recently we had a homeless guy pestering tennants of a high rise building in the area. My personal philosophy is not everyone needs a ticket or to go to jail. So I value in the ability to talk their ear off until they decide to leave. And as long as I am standing there, they are not bugging the tennants. This is as long as I am not busy with other things. My best story -

On November 22nd, 1963, aliens came down from mars. They learned from the secret service how to disguise themselves in turn for them to do the dirty work of the CIA. As you can guess from the date of their arrival as to what the first mission was. If you think he died from a bullet, you are led to believe that. He was really found deceased coated in a glowing orange paste. The aliens call it moon jelly. To make moon jelly, you need to have the purest water, which you can only get from melting ice found on asteroids. The ice must be melted by friction in zero gravity. The aliens then mix it with gases collected from exterior planets rings. They then consume the liquid. (Just so you know - this is where most of them begin to look bored). But how do they get the moon jelly on their prey? Well their body will naturally turn the substance inside their --- into the goop. Then they need to ej--ulate onto their prey. (This is where I will get one of two responses, 1st they walk away, or they are really into it and will follow me away from the building as I keep talking.) The CIA learned that the aliens could not just disguise themselves as humans, but as inatimate objects sitting around, fully functional so people would never know. They could sit there completely motionless, maste--ating to eject the moon jelly upon unsuspecting victims. After 24hrs, the jelly will completely liquify and slowly move its way to the ocean. The jelly needs the salt water to survive. Once it arrives into the salt water it begins to transform back to a jelly and will form a liquid coccoon around itself. During its 13 month incubation period, it will transform into what we know as a jelly fish. Most of the toxin from the moon jelly is gone as it was used to kill the victim, so the sting from a jelly fish isn't as potent. So if you ever get stung by a jelly fish, let if be known, that you were just stung by an aliens baby gravy.

In the time it takes me to tell this story while walking, we have now arrived at the homeless shelter and the person I was escorting usually wants to go inside. Please PM me if you have any further questions regarding moon jelly.

What the F_CK?

OBAMASMAMA
06-19-2013, 05:31 PM
What the F_CK?

You wanted a story

bigman
06-19-2013, 05:32 PM
I gave u an easy task ,

SGT Rud
06-19-2013, 08:11 PM
What the F_CK?this is usually what the homeless ask as they leave.

Archer59
06-19-2013, 10:07 PM
Never forget moment:

Dec. 12th 1980. I'm a firefighter in the USAF, stationed at RAF Lakenheath, England. I'm actually off duty on a cold, wet crappy night when over the base intercom there comes a recall of all off duty firefighters. So I make my way to the station knowing that something major is going on. When I get there I'm assigned to a crash truck as a lineman and off we go. Evidently, an one of our planes came in on a touch and go and lost one its wheels. The F111 has a nose gear and two wheels in tandem further aft. One of these departed the plane which obviously not a good thing. The pilot had lifted off again and was missing a key component of the aircraft.

We deployed along the flight line while other firefighters laid foam on the runway and the plane burned off fuel. This lasted for about 20 min before we were notified that an attempt at a landing was about to occur. The plane's approach for a barrier catch was great and they touched down about 100 yds to my left and 100 yds to the front. Pretty amazing sight: the stub where the wheel was missing kicked out a thick trail of sparks about 20yds long. I'm thinking, "chit" when all of a sudden the pilot engages the plane's after burners. Evidently, he felt he had over shot the barrier cable and was preparing for a go around when his tail hook caught the barrier....just as the aircraft lifted off the runway!

As the plane gained about 40ft of altitude, the brake system attached to the runway barrier cable engaged and slammed the plane back into the ground. When we rolled up, the plane had slid into the infield, nose down, left wing semi-buried in the turf and the afterburners screaming at full tilt! You want a gut check? Step out of the safe crash truck and face that, lol.

Other than almost breaking my leg stepping into the trench the wing had dug...you can't see chit with the air pack and crash gear on, everyone survived the ordeal.

Airthy
06-26-2013, 03:27 AM
I love when you get to raid someone in the game that threatens to hunt you down and kill you for raiding his high earning building. Get a grip mate!