Modern War News, an albeezy production

[albeezy]

I am going to periodically update this thread with a state of the game and forum from the players perspective. If you have news or something for me to report, please PM and I will include it if it is NewsWorthy. Also, if you do not want to be named let me know and I will use my power of the press to protect my sources (please no deepthroat jokes).

[albeezy]

It has come to our attention that Miner has yet to receive his FLANcraft Carrier for winning the name that ship contest. Please be on the lookout for the missing FLANcraft Carrier and if found please return it to Miner's inventory. The missing FLANcraft Carrier was last seen sailing in the Sea of Lofty Promises near Gotcha' Point.

Additionally, there have been numerous reports that several combatants have noticed 100 GOLD BARS have gone missing from their coffers.

At this point in the investigation, it is believed that the person responsible for the disappearance of the FLANcraft Carrier may also be responsible for the missing GOLD BARS, but this has yet to be confirmed. At this point, please do not panic as the assailant(s) are not believed to be armed and dangerous. It is best to just remain in your battlezone and keep a vigilant lookout for the missing items and your inventories.

This public service announcement was brought to you by Albeezy. Thank you, and don't do drugs!

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

Attention all combatants this just in:

An unidentified player has just reported that he saw the missing FLANcraft Carrier being towed away from a port near Gotcha Point on a trailer being pulled by an Assault Bear assault vehicle. He also reported that the missing GOLD BARS were stacked on the flight deck of the missing FLANcraft Carrier. The unidentified player has reported that he was able to capture a partial license plate number on the trailer. That partial license plate number is "CCM-...". The unidenfitied player reported that the plates were believed to be from California but this also has yet to be confirmed.

We will keep you updated as more news and sightings come in.

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

Attention all combatants, we pardon the interuption of your inability to find and battle the Illuminati, but we have just received this BREAKING NEWS:

There have been numerous reports of boosts disappearing throughout the battlezones of Modern War. The most noticeable being the UPGRADE TWO BUILDINGS AT ONCE BOOST that numerous combatants have paid dearly for with their money, sweat, and tireless hours of toil attempting to rid the battlezones of FUSION CORES. The authorities have been contacted on numerous occasions to no avail as we have been unable to contact anyone who knows anything about the cause of the BOOST's disappearance.

Additionally, combatant FERR has reported that an ECHO LEADER has gone missing from his inventory. The un-official word from the authorities is that FERR is being too GREEdy by expecting that he be handsomely rewarded as promised by the authorities for clearing the most FUSION CORES from the battlezones. However, public opinion suggests that the authorities are viewed as being incompetent fore being unable to provide any OFFICIAL comments on any of the mysterious disapearances.

We have attempted to follow up on the missing GROUND ATTACK BOOST, which has been missing for quite some time now, but have received no response. We fear that the GROUND ATTACK BOOST may be dead or severely injured and lying in a ditch somewhere. Please keep a lookout for the GROUND ATTACK BOOST as you travel throughout the battlezones, and if found, please immediately attempt to resuscitate and revive the GROUND ATTACK BOOST.

Now we go to albeezy live with this special report:
albeezy: "I am here live here at the FORUM, where numerous combatants have organized to protest how authorities have handled the recent events amongst the battlezones. Moral is plummeting as the combatants are losing what little bit of hope they have left that the authorities can handle the control the manufacturing processes used to create these boosted units. Critics say the blame can be placed on the manufacturers of the units as they failed to properly test the BOOSTS before placing the units into production. The sentiment in the crowd gathered here at the FORUM is that the authorities are to blame for failing to properly oversee the manufacturing of these boosted units and for lack of institutional control in preventing the theft of, and/or for failing to recover the missing units and BOOSTS. I will continue to monitor the situation here at the FORUM as the crowd continues to grow and the sentiment towards the authorities continues to deteriorate as trust in the authorities rapidly declines."

Thank you for that special report albeezy. And for the rest of the viewers across the battlezones, please continue to stay calm and do not panic. We will keep you apprised of events as they unfold.

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

We pardon the interuption of your gameplay, but we are taking you live to the FORUM where albeezy has this special report:

albeezy: "As previously reported, I am here live here at the FORUM where numerous combatants have organized to protest how the authorities have handled the recent events amongst the battlezones. The dissatisfaction of the combatants is at an all-time high as confidence in the authorities plummets. The recent events have been made worse as the authorities official comments to the recent events have caused an unsettling level of tension between the authorities and the combatants. I asked one combatant his thoughts on the official statements made by the authorities and he had this to say:"


We suddenly are confronted with a true infestation of hackers. The winners of the most recent auction event have yet to receive their ECHO LEADER, yet players with hundreds of them have been found within the battlezones. Those players have been reported to the authorities, yet no response has been received whatsoever. Additionally, the Illuminati can not be found by many of the combatants and there has been no serious response from the authorities on this issue either.

At this point it seems that responses from the authorities are pointless as the Assault Bear's missing GROUND ATTACK BOOST was promised to be resolved in the next infrastructure update. The infrastructure update has taken place, yet the GROUND ATTACK BOOST was not resolved. There continues to be no serious response from the authorities on this issue.

Even more frustrating, the UPGRADE TWO BUILDINGS AT ONCE BONUS for the Fusion APC is still not working. Considering the amount of money spend by those who purchased the Fusion APC, this lack of communication is unacceptable.

It is my advice to all of my fellow combatants to suspend spending as I believe the authorities seems to be in a state of collapse.


albeezy: "After talking to FERR, I spoke with several other combatants gathered at the FORUM who expressed similar sentiments about the state of disarray found in the battlezones. Many of those combatants expressed a vote of no-confidence in the authorities ability to bring the battlezones into a state of order and they fear that a meltdown is imminent. Those combatants expressed a desire to ban funding of the authorities until the authorities prove that they can stabilize the battlezones.

Another combatant I spoke to told me that there has been another disappearance related to the battlezones. He told me that CCMARK, the ambassador to the authorities has been missing for almost 10 days now from the FORUM. I acquired his communications records from the local communications company here at the FORUM and from those records it appears that he may have gone into hiding around the time that these recent events began to occur. It appears that he has been periodically communicating with various combatants here at the FORUM through PMs with his last communication reportedly being made this morning at around 9:57 AM, CST. At this point, we can only hope that CCMARK is okay, and that he will find a way to bring the combatants and the authorities together to reach a resolution to this civil unrest before a civil war breaks out.

This special report was brought to you by Modern War News. I'm albeezy. Stay classy combatants.

Thank you for that special report albeezy. And for the rest of the viewers across the battlezones, please continue to stay calm and do not panic. We will continue to keep you apprised of events as they unfold.

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

My fellow combatants, thank you for tuning in to this morning's edition of the Modern War News. This morning we are joined in studio with our embedded reporter albeezy.

albeezy: "Thank you for having me. It has been difficult to keep track of all the goings on at the FORUM the past few days as it seemed that a new story popped up every few hours."

When you last reported, the FORUM was filled with combatants ready to revolt as a result of the lack of action taken by the authorities. Has there been any developments since then?

albeezy: "There have been some developments at the FORUM. Yesterday afternoon rumors began to spread that the authorities had struck a deal with the manufacturer of the FUSION APC in order to obtain the UPGRADE TWO BUILDINGS AT ONCE BOOST. I have confirmed through various sources that the recipients of the FUSION APC have obtained a fix that enables the once missing boost to work. As these rumors spread, the combatants at the FORUM rejoiced at this small victory."

That is great news.

albeezy: "Yes, it was a SMALL VICTORY for those combatants who so deservingly earned the FUSION APC. However, some combatants remain worried as so many of the issues remain unresolved. In particular, several of the combatants told me that the highly coveted ECHO LEADER, manufactured for select combatants that were able to rid the battlzones of the most FUSION CORES, remains missing. This news, when combined with the reports that other BOOSTS, most notably the Assault Bear's GROUND ATTACK BOOST, remain missing and there has yet to be any official word on when the infrastructure upgrades that were promised months ago will be complete. Additionally, the FLANcraft Carrier that went missing from Miner's inventory over a week ago has yet to be recovered."

I see. What is the mindset of the combatants gathered at the FORUM right now?

albeezy: "With the alleged return of CCMARK, the ambassador to the authorities, the combatants are optimistic that more of the outstanding issues will be resolved quickly. Additionally, I am told that CCMARK's top strategic advisor, CJ54 played a big role in the negotiations that brokered the deal between the authorities and the manufacturers of the FUSION APC."

Has there been any new developments in regards to the elusive Illuminati?

albeezy: "Yes. An upgrade to the battlezone's satellite survelance system has enabled those combatants that were previously unable to locate the Illuminati to join the fight. Several of those combatants however are frustrated at the strength of the Illuminati and have since dropped out of the fight."

What is the latest news from the battlezones?

albeezy: "There are reports that a faction of combatants, allegedly all females, have created a mercenary group called the Sisters of Mercy. At this point it is unclear what agenda, if any, they have. Some combatants speculate that this is merely another group of combatants banding together to battle the Pirates. There have been confirmed reports that the Sisters of Mercy use a signature in postings on combatants message boards after attacks. At this point, it is unclear exactly who or what the Sisters of Mercy are, but I have sent out some feelers to some of my contacts in an effort to obtain more information."

What about the rumors that boycotts of gold purchases are underway?

albeezy: "To my konwledge the boycotts appear to be in effect for some of the combatants. These select combatants have formed a group of SUPERMEN, formerly heavy financial supporters of the authorities, and have vowed to refrain their financial support of the authorities until it becomes clear that the authorities have stabilized the battlezones. At this point only time will tell how effective these boycotts will be and how long they will last."

Thank you for joining us live in studio albeezy, we look forward to more reports from you on the happenings at the FORUM.

albeezy: "Thank you for having me. It is always a pleasure!"

In other news, a FORUM FIGHT NIGHT took place between Zoltarov and Bronson, a.k.a. the "BronKing". The battle was one of epic proportions as Bronson prepared for battle by destroying 30 of the Illuminati, recruiting numerous troops for his army along the way. However, these additional recruits were not enough as Zoltarov's forces dealt crushing blows to the BronKing's forces. For a recap of the fight, please visit the Forum Fight Night thread, which can be found here: http://www.funzio.com/forum/showthread.php?28509-Forum-Fight-Night!!!/page44

That's all for this edition of Modern War News. Until next time, stay classy combatants.[/COLOR]

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

This edition of the Modern War News is brought to you by admirAL BEEZY's Palm Tree Shop. They have over 600 tall palm tree squares in stock and counting. Stop by and pick out a palm tree for your base today.

It was a quiet news day at the FORUM yesterday with the exception of a small skirmish between several of the combatants that was sparked during a debate over...SOCCER? WTF, errr, excuse me. What I meant to say was reports indicate that several of the combatants were arguing over whether the term FOOTBALL should be used exclusively for the popular North American Sport. The skirmish resulted in a few exchanges of words and the imagery at the FORUM was quite entertaining to the onlookers who watched the skirmish.

Now we take you live to the FORUM with our embedded reporter, albeezy.

albeezy: "Hi, this is albeezy reporting live from the FORUM where the rumors and speculation continue to swirl. Early this morning I received word that the ECHO LEADERS had been dispatched to several of the combatants responsible for ridding the battlezones of the most fusion cores and that those ECHO LEADERS are now safely stored in each of those combatants inventories. However, I have at least one confirmed report that the FLANcraft Carrier that went missing from MINER's inventory has yet to be recovered. As you may recall, the FLANcraft Carrier was last seen being towed away on a trailer pulled by an ASSAULT BEAR several weeks ago. There have been no confirmed sightings since that day.

OH WAIT! I am just now getting word that a new orders are being prepared for the combatants. I am being told that the authorities have lost blueprints to a NEW SUPER WEAPON. The blueprints were allegedly being transported in top secret boxes from the authorities to the manufacturers in an effort to entice the SUPERMEN to return their financial support to the authorities. While in transit, the top secret boxes were stolen by the few Illuminati as they fled the battlezones in the wake of the war that the combatants have waged against them. While fleeing, the Illuminati scattered countless top secret boxes throughout the battlezones. It is believed that the authorities will soon request the assistance of the combatants in recovering these top secret boxes, some of which include the blueprints to the NEW SUPER WEAPON! Let's hope that these blueprints do not fall into the hands of the EVIL CRIME LORDS that have silently infiltrated the FORUM.

I will continue to monitor the FORUM for more information about this recent development. For Modern War News, I'm albeezy.
"

Thank you for that report albeezy. As always, we will continue to monitor the FORUM and developments acro...

Good afternoon combatants. This is General Icke, commander of the Illuminati Hit Squad. As you may have noticed, we have begun to withdraw our HIT SQUADS from your pathetic battlezones. We are now in control of the blueprints to a NEW SUPER WEAPON compliments of your authorities. You shall receive no demands. We do not seek to ransom this NEW SUPER WEAPON. Rather we will harness its power for our own purposes. The Catalyst Battle Tank, with its 30% more attack from ground units, will transform my HIT SQUADS into the most powerful army in the world and not even your PIRATES can stop us. MUHAHAHAHAHA

...We're back? And we are back, apparently we were having some technical difficulties and it appears that the Illuminati temporarily took over our broadcasting capabilities. I have just been handed an image of this NEW SUPER WEAPON and it looks the part. See for yourselves.

http://static-cdn.modernwar-game.com/mwios/images/popups/TopSecretBox-Popup.jpg

Wonder if General Icke realizes that neither the authorities or the manufactuers actually know how to produce a unit with a GROUND ATTACK BOOST? Well, what started as a slow news day has quickly led to one of the hottest stories to break here on Modern War News. We will continue to monitor these events closely and if news breaks, we’ll break in. Now back to your regularly scheduled battling!


DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

Greetings fellow combatants. As many of you have surely noticed, this morning at approximately 2:00 AM CST the authorities handed down orders to collect the missing top secret boxes in search of the blueprints to the NEW SUPER WEAPON, the Catalyst Battle Tank. It appears that these orders were rushed to the combatants as the authorities have yet to clear the LEADERBOARD STANDINGS related to the Fusion Core event. At this point it is too early to tell why the orders were handed down before verifying that the infrastructure modifications needed to execute them were in place, but some of our top analysts have speculated that the authorities were in rush to get them out quickly due to being scooped yesterday by the reporting team here at the Modern War News.

As the word spread throughout the battlezones, many of the combatants scoffed at the orders and intend to disregard them in favor of rebuilding their forces in anticipation of another group of invaders led by a leader of unknown origin and alliance. The authorities have had new units created by the manufacturers to reward the combatants for recovering the blueprints. The Deadly Speed Bike appears to be similar to several of the units used by the EVIL CRIME LORDS in their crime sprees, and at this time it is not clear as to whether it was developed by the manufacturers under the influence of the EVIL CRIME LORDS.

And now for something completely different...brought to you by Captain Stephen's Spiced Rum.

Who was the first PIRATE? Due to the inability of the authorities to entertain the combatants gathered at the FORUM, a group of combatants known as the PIRATES have brought the always popular Happy Hour Game TRIVIA to the FORUM. The reveared and feared PIRATES have begun a PIRATE HISTORY TRIVIA game and to the victor goes the spoils...and by spoils we mean having the PIRATES fly their flags under the winner's name for approximately one week. Stop by a pub near your battlezone and enter for your chance to win today!

That's all for this edition of the Modern Wars News. Until next time, stay class combatants!


DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

Please pardon the interruption of your gameplay, but we have this breaking news.

In today's news we report that the authorities continue to react to the stories here at the Modern War News. We briefly commented on a few days ago about how CCMark, the ambassador to the authorities, has recruited a new advisor, (er). (http://www.funzio.com/forum/showthread.php?23958-Where-were-you&p=393133&viewfull=1#post393133). (er) is believed to be CCMarks FORUM consulate in charge of gathering information from the combatants here ar the FORUM and reporting it back to CCMark, who will then take that inforamtoin to the authorities. It is hard to stay one step ahead of the authorities, but the Modern War News does it anyways.

In other news, combatant Ferr has jumped out to an early lead over the competition in the latest auction event. It seems the carrot is just too enticing for the thoroughbred to resist. Which causes us here at the Modern War News to wonder if the NEW SUPER WEAPON was created as a ground unit in order to entice the heaviest spender during the last auction event to continue his financial support of the authorities. One can only speculate at this point.

Today we bring you what we here at the Modern War News call our YELLOW JOURNALISM segment, where we report things that may not have actually occured, but could have. In this segment, our newest reporter, Copenhizzle reports on what appears to be a meeting amongst the authorities:


Support: we seem to be getting a lot of complaints about the recent event prizes not being awarded

Manager: people will always b!tch

Support: it seems that our customers want the boosts prizes they win to work

Manager: how nice for them. Let's roll out a new Auction event and they will forget about it

Dev guy: shouldn't we fix the broken boost prizes before rolling out a new event?

Manager: waste of time. Let's just make the LB prize an invisible ground boost that way nobody can complain if it's not working... It's invisible!

VP: that is brilliant Mr. Manager. You just earned more under performing stock options at the acquisition valuation

Manager: thanks, but the shares are upside down?

VP: People will b!tch

Dev guy: back on topic. What should the invisible ground boost be?

Manager: let's go with 20%

Dev guy: but the Bear boost was at 30% and this is a more expensive prize

VP: Well then, wouldn't 20% be more then?

That's all for this edition of the YELLOW JOURNALISM segment.

And in other news, a few combatants snuck outside of the battlezones to haze the EVIL CRIME LORDS. Needless to say the EVIL CRIME LORDS did not take kindly to the invasion and proceeded to plead with the authorities to send those combatants back to the battlezones.

We received word last night that combatant Aidan was the official winner of the Captain Stephen's Spiced Rum TRIVIA competition and will have at least one PIRATE fly his flag under the name Aidan for at least a week. Time will tell whether this will bring Aidan's the fear and respect that he believes he deserves, or whether the retaliation strikes will plummet his forces to an all time low. We will watch the progress on this front for any changes.

That's all for this edition of the Modern War News. Thanks for tuning in.

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[albeezy]

Greetings combatants. We are here live in the Modern War News Studio to bring you this mornings edition of the Modern War News.

When we last reported we told you about a skirmish that broke out when several combatants snuck outside of the battlezones to haze the EVIL CRIME LORDS. In a follow up to that story we bring you the newest addition to the Modern War News. We now take you to our embedded reporter albeezy for the DAILY WHINE.

albeezy: "albeezy here reporting live from the FORUM for this edition of the DAILY WHINE. After the skirmish between some of the combatants and the EVIL CRIME LORDS we did a follow up investigation. That investigation has revealed that several of the EVIL CRIME LORDS are what can only be classified as WHINERS. Many of you have no doubt seen their whining here at the FORUM but we would like to take this segment to highlight some of the more colorful whiners. Two of the EVIL CRIME LORDS stand out as particularly egregious whiners.

The first whiner goes under the name DRAVAK. As the combatants hazed the EVIL CRIME LORDS, DRAVAK had this to say:"

Can we throw some ban hammers :p ... I mean this is CC not MW , we don't invade the MW forums , when you guys get attention and rant on like trolls .

albeezy: "After further investigation into the WHINER konwn as DRAVAK it was discovered that he is viewed as a WHINER by his fellow EVIL CRIME LORDS. The cause of his whining is not competely known, but when we asked another EVIL CRIME LORD about DRAVAK he had this to say:"


........... Who is this Dravak dude.... He seems so hate filled and eager too criticise... And jump down people's throats........

Let's all tell this angry little guy that we love him and give dravak a hug

albeezy: "So if during your battles you happen to come across DRAVAK, please give him a hug and some cheese, because everyone konwns that cheese goes better with WHINE.

And the next WHINER we would like to highlight has been incessantly attmepting to make the Modern War News since it first aired. This WHINER is known by many here at the FORUM as Joaquim. He can be seen constantly begging for attention and misquoting combatants here at the FORUM. Most of the misquotes are directed to accolades directed towards Joaquim in what can only be described as a call for help and a cry for attention and praise. I interviewed several psychologists to discover the root cause of this sort of behavior and they said that it is characteristic of a person that is immature and craves attention, yet doesnt get any. I also interviewed several of the combatants gathered here at the FORUM and one of them characterized Joaquim by saying this:"


why would he mention you? all you do around here is try to nominate yourself for grammies and get yourself put in the paper.

albeezy: "A chilling sentiment indeed. Please try and give this little WHINER a little bit of attention as he has apparently yet to learn that to be something great, you have to do something great.

That's all for this segment of the DAILY WHINE.

In other news, the combatants gathered here at the FORUM rejoiced as word spread that the missing FLANcraft Carrier has been recovered and is now safely back in Miner's inventory. It is believed that the ambassador to the authorities, CCMark, and his FORUM consulate, (er), were instrumental in the recovery effort. There is still no word on the efforts to recover the missing GROUND ATTACK BOOST that owners of the Assault Bear have been searching for. We will have more on this as we receive additional information. For the Modern War News, I'm albeezy."

Thank you for that report albeezy. And now we would like to congratulate combatant FERR for recovering the most blueprints. It was a tight race between him and ALEX who is believed to be a member of the Sisters of Mercy. It has yet to be determined whether they both received the NEW SUPER WEAPON or not, but a well deserved congratulations to you both.

Turning now to the authorities, many combatants have allegedly received refunds of monetary donations previously made in support of the authorities. At this point it is unclear how many of these former supporters have sought or received refunds, or how many will attempt similar actions in the future. So far HACKERS have been reportedly serving as a basis for the refunds. These HACKERS have appeared with an ever increasing frequency and have caused many of the financial supporters of the authorities to question the ability of the authorities to maintain control and stability of the battlezones. At this time we are unable to determine whether the threats to withdraw financial support made by these supporters are merely hollow attempts to coerce the authorities to take action or whether they will join the ranks of the SUPERMEN who have already withdrawn their financial support. Only time will tell.

We'll have more on these stories and additional news as more information becomes available. Until next time, stay classy combatants.

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[Arizona]

Give the newspaper a name then...How about a poll? Add some levity to the forum.
I vote for The Daily Whine:D

[Jp lfs]

Albeezy, you totally rock. You have managed to cover the problems and complaints accurately, while still maintaining an air of levity. Very well done.

[Zoltarov]

Movie material. All sorts of drama, a plot and who knows a happy ending. Everything can happen.You should sell the script to Hollywood.

[Dreno33]

once you vote on a poll, you can never revote. adding a poll was quite... pointless.

[albeezy]

once you vote on a poll, you can never revote. adding a poll was quite... pointless.
So says the king of pointless threads (BP thread and composites thread come to mind). It was simply to gauge whether people find the news posts entertaining or not.

[Dreno33]

So says the king of pointless threads (BP thread and composites thread come to mind). It was simply to gauge whether people find the news posts entertaining or not.

how does one vote once you update the news?

[Great_wall2]

Well done albeezy I am thoroughly enjoying the "news."

[albeezy]

how does one vote once you update the news?
It was more to gauge whether I should update the news with posts similar to the ones already posted. If you like them, as popular opinion seems to suggest, there is a good chance you will continue to like them as I add more. If everyone said no I would probably just let this thread die. Feel free to post your comments on the news here. I can read and gauge the viewing audience based on more than just the poll Drenno, but your point is understood.

[Dreno33]

It was more to gauge whether I should update the news with posts similar to the ones already posted. If you like them, as popular opinion seems to suggest, there is a good chance you will continue to like them as I add more. If everyone said no I would probably just let this thread die. Feel free to post your comments on the news here. I can read and gauge the viewing audience based on more than just the poll Drenno, but your point is understood.

you should add that whole post to your OP, unless im the only one who thought that.

[spectra]

Movie material. All sorts of drama, a plot and who knows a happy ending. Everything can happen.You should sell the script to Hollywood.

Having GREEd in the starting role of this "movie" with some of the action being done on location at VIET-nam, the movies can only have a terrible ending.
We need new actors if you want to have a hapy ending, perhaps hiring the well known and popular actor CJ fifty4

[joaquim]

Lame. I should be included in the news then we'll have something worth reading.

[Ferr]

News: boss event finally works for me. It seems to be extended as well.

[negotiator]

Love the news keep it up

[joaquim]

Lame. I should be included in the news then we'll have something worth reading.

Reposted for helpful insight on how to make the news worth reading.

[Hello Kitty]

Keep it up! Fabulous.

[albeezy]

The news is up at post #6.

[manbeast]

The news is up at post #6.

good read. if i ever leave the forum for a month or two, i'll just find this thread! seems like you include everything

[albeezy]

good read. if i ever leave the forum for a month or two, i'll just find this thread! seems like you include everything
Thanks ManBeast and all the others with the feedback

[Bronson]

That's quality Beezy keep it up! And keep doing the news as well lol

[joaquim]

The star of the show still hasn't been mentioned in the news. Put me in there so that there can be something worth reading!

[manbeast]

The star of the show still hasn't been mentioned in the news. Put me in there so that there can be something worth reading!

the troll is strong with this one

[joaquim]

You're just jealous because I'm the star and you're not! And since I haven't been mentioned yet this thread continues to be s**t!

[Selfproclaimed]

How can anyone vote no on this. This Is easily a top thread if not thy top. Informative and entertaining

[albeezy]

How can anyone vote no on this. This Is easily a top thread if not thy top. Informative and entertaining

If only I had started this before the Grammy's. Then I could have had a post-Grammy Awards interview column with the winners, such as yourself SP! Maybe next time.

[albeezy]

Breaking News Just IN!

[Fl@sh]

Any news on what the top 25 bonus is?

[albeezy]

Any news on what the top 25 bonus is?
not yet, but will let you know when I hear something

[Buggs1a]

Lame. I should be included in the news then we'll have something worth reading.

NOT!!!!!!!!

[Buggs1a]

You're just jealous because I'm the star and you're not! And since I haven't been mentioned yet this thread continues to be s**t!

Wow, flan is back. now please go away.

[Corsair]

albeezy, you are brilliant. Keep it up!

[joaquim]

NOT!!!!!!!!

Oh shut up.


Wow, flan is back. now please go away.

Yea I'm definitely flan. NOT! Go back to your hole and find evidence of people being someone else before coming up with lame accusations, moron.

[joaquim]

And still no mention of the amazing Joaquim! The news gets even more sh!tty each day!

[Aidan]

Brilliant mate!!
Please dont let this die. Ever

[Poopenshire]

the troll is strong with this one

How are you liking your new home and location?

[Baraka]

Any news on what the top 25 bonus is?Isn't it 30% boost to ground units. Haha it's Gunna be invisible again.

[siL]

now it will be interesting to see who is stupid enough to pursue a bonus that haven't even work from the past events...

[Morphlingman]

Congrats Ferr and all the rest of the top 25 in the last box event that finally got the double upgrade working. That will be nice to have

[albeezy]

News is up at post #8

[joaquim]

Still nothing about me! What kind of BS news is this!?

[Agent Orange]

Give the newspaper a name then...How about a poll? Add some levity to the forum.
I vote for The Daily Whine:D

Hmm and the managing editor is the 'Big Cheese'!

[Agent Orange]

It is kind of interesting, Fox news does Modern War!

[Fl@sh]

You should mention our new friend er for sure

[albeezy]

Latest News at post 9

[joaquim]

Still nothing on me! Beezy the news sucks and it should die unless I'm mentioned!

[Dhotzz]

Great thread thumbs up! The yellow jOurnalism segmnt is so entertaining ,i'l be expecting more behind the scene convrsations! Cheerz! Kip it up!

[Jhoemel]

Nice albeezy :)

[joaquim]

Awful thread thumbs down! The yellow jOurnalism segmnt is so stupid ,just stop giving us the news it's lame! Cheerz!

+1 extra characters.

[manbeast]

+1 extra characters.

why would he mention you? all you do around here is try to nominate yourself for grammies and get yourself put in the paper.

http://i49.tinypic.com/mtb4lw.gif

[joaquim]

Because I'm awesome. I should be in there! The news is sh!t without me and it should die and go to forum hell!

[joaquim]

You should mention our friend Joaquim for sure

+1 extra characters.

[joaquim]

Albeezy, you totally suck. You have failed to talk about Joaquim. Very poorly done.

+1 extra characters.

[joaquim]

Awfully done albeezy I am yawning at the "news."

Same here.

[joaquim]

Hate the news this needs to die out.

+1 extra characters.

[joaquim]

Stop this! It's horrendous.

+1 extra characters.

[joaquim]

bad read. if i ever leave the forum for a month or two, i'll never look for this thread! you fail to include the important stuff.

+1 extra characters.

[joaquim]

That's sh!t Beezy this needs to die! And stop doing the news as well lol

+1 extra characters.

[joaquim]

How can anyone vote yes on this. This Is easily one of the top sh!ttiest threads if not thy top. Uninformative and dull.



albeezy, you suck.

+1 both of these quotes.

[joaquim]

Awful mate!! let this die. Now

+1 extra characters.

[joaquim]

It is stupid


This sucks albeezy :)

+1 both of these quotes.

[Selfproclaimed]

Really Joaquim.. Editing everyone's comments. Are you that bored.

[joaquim]

Extremely bored. Not a lot of stuff going on today.

[Poopenshire]

Really Joaquim.. Editing everyone's comments. Are you that bored.

Yes he is and i am doing back at him.

[Tate]

That gets pretty tiring after a very short while, speaking of bored.

[joaquim]

Why'd you post in this thread? It was supposed to be dead. Remove your post so then I will remove this one so that this thread can go back to the pits of forum hell.

[MonkeyPuppy2012]

This is a just crap.

[manbeast]

This is a just crap.

Every single one of your posts are crap. Must be joaqiums little brother

[RobinoftheHood]

Didn't somebody establish that MonkeyPuppy was flan?

[albeezy]

Latest News is up at post 10. Joaquim, you made it!

[Miner]

hey albeezy - nice work. You're going to need to create a MW News Archive thread so you can move off old articles and keep the new ones on the front page.

[albeezy]

hey albeezy - nice work. You're going to need to create a MW News Archive thread so you can move off old articles and keep the new ones on the front page.

good idea. Will have to do it when joekim is in the classroom or when its past his bedtime so that he doesnt troll it with his retarded +1 extra characters posts and misquotes!

EDIT: I see you finished in the top 500. Did you break down and use gold again?

[Miner]

EDIT: I see you finished in the top 500. Did you break down and use gold again?

I don't want to talk about it. ;)

[albeezy]

I don't want to talk about it. ;)
Don't you hate how now that you got your FLANcraft Carrier you have to update your signature! Don't forget the Jelly Yet? part!

[ladyfizz27]

I enjoyed today's news very much. Joaquim's dreams came true! haha

[joaquim]

Latest News is up at post 10. Joaquim, you made it!

Not how I wanted to be in. Include me in a good way.

This still sucks!


Every single one of your posts are crap. Must be joaqiums little brother

Nah. My brother doesn't even play these games or have a forum account and his name is Andres not whatever that says.

[Selfproclaimed]

Like he said, to be included in a good way. You must contribute something GOOD to be known for. Lol

[joaquim]

I contribute! But I leave it exclusively for stuff in CC.

[albeezy]

I contribute! But I leave it exclusively for stuff in CC.You should start a ccnews thread then and be creative with it. You and boom with juaco. It will be a dashing succes with the cc crowd. Your first issue can include a story about dravak always calling for 200 k stats. Maybe y'all could do an exposé about players with 200k stats And do an interview with dravak

You now have some homework to on getting your news thread for cc to do peace

[joaquim]

You do know that Juaco and I are the same person right?

[albeezy]

You do know that Juaco and I are the same person right?
Yes. Juaco is joekim. He is you and you are him slim with a tilted brim. Pm me if you need help getting started with a cc news

[joaquim]

Maybe at another time. I'm gonna have to check in with Boom on this idea first to see if he wants to do the news.

[albeezy]

Gretting combatants and welcome to today's edition of the Modern War News. This episode of the Modern War News is brought to you by admirAL BEEZY's Rat B'gone.

As many of you may have noticed the FORUM and the battlezones have become infested with RATS! They can be found throughout the battlezones scurrying, hurrying, and burrowing their way into your bases. They must be eradicated at all costs. To assist you in your efforts to eradicate these RATS, the authorities have worked with the manufacturers to provide you with many new troops and battle vehicles. Unfortuneatly the authorities and the manufacturers were not able to develop any SEA UNITS to assist in your efforts. admirAL BEEZY would be very dissapointed at this news. We'll be back right after this brief commercial break.

Commercial Break:
"Hi, admirAL BEEZY here to tell you about my latest product Rat B'gone. As I am sailing the high seas of the battlezones in my Heavy Carrier, we sometimes have to port in places less than desireable. Often times these ports are infested with RATS that invade my Heavy Carrier. Rats pose a serious risk health problems and can transmit diseases including rabies, typhus, and leptospirosis. That is why I developed Rat B'gone! The battlezones number one rat killer. If your having problems with rats, pickup an industrial size super mega extra large jumbo pack of admirAL Beezy's Rat B'gone today and watch your rat problems disappear!"

And now we take you live to the FORUM with our embedded reporter albeezy:

albeezy: "Hi, albeezy here reporting live from the FORUM where the combatants remain united in their struggle against the authorities. Yesterday many of the combatants sought out a new way to rank themselves. Part of the reason for this new ranking system request is that many combatants have been forced to camp due to the authorities disparaging treatment to higher level combatants and more favorable treatment to lower level combatants. I scoured the battlezones throughout the night seeking a way to devise a formula that would enable the combatants to rank themselves using a single classification system and came across a mathematician by the name of Albert Einstizzle who proposed the following forumla:

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTg1rn1YwX_K54gOs6gt2RHxDJyox88E 0YpXHOzGTWEjLUEWkdIsqeHnCPV

Now we just need to figure out exactly what the hell this formula means?

I have received several reports of combatants being fl@shed by a combatant wearing a treanchcoat. As can be seen on the graffiti left on wall behind me, this combatant is known to revisit the scene of the crime.

http://i36.servimg.com/u/f36/17/56/93/28/flashe10.png (http://www.servimg.com/image_preview.php?i=57&u=17569328)

For the Modern War News, I'm albeezy. Now back to the studio."

Thank you for that report albeezy. And now we take you to Copenhizzle for today's edition of the YELLOW JOURNALISM SEGMENT, where we report things that probably didnt happen, but could have:

copenhizzle: "The authorities have reportedly received repremands from the taxing authority due to the recent influx of complaints filed by combatants regarding HACKERS and CHEATERS. Some of these combatants are former financial supporters of the authorities while others have recently expressed their financial support of the authorities but are on the verge of joining the SUPERMEN. To date, the authorities have made no OFFICIAL COMMENT on how they plan to stabilize the battlezones and it is believed that they are not equipped to do so. It is clear however that the taxing authority is prepare to REFUND monetary donations made to the authorities if a financial supporter provides sufficient evidence to the taxing authority that the authorities cannot bring the HACKERS and CHEATERS under control. That evidence should not be difficult to obtain as the failure of the authorities to maintain control of the battlezones continues to be highlighted as they continue to attempt to entice playeres with new units from the manufacturers. Each event rolled out by the authorities is allegedly designed to showcase these new units, but they invariably highlight the lack of oversight that the authorities have on the manufacturers and the infrastructure of the battlezone. Each event is filled with mistakes and errors, misleading statements about the number of units manufactured, and how these units will be distributed. Although the moral at the FORUM is higher now than it was just a few short weeks ago, the smallest spark could ignite the combatants into a revolt at any time. For the Modern War News, I'm Copenhizzle."

Thank you Copenhizzle. That's all for today's edition of the Modern War News. Until next time, stay classy combatants.

And finally, the combatants gathered at the FORUM took a trip down memory lane yesterday, recounting their favorite memories of things that made them laugh during their standoff with the authorities. For more on this story, or to nominate your own favorite FORUM shenanigans, please visit: http://www.funzio.com/forum/showthread.php?39360-The-Greatest-MW-Threads-That-Made-Us-LOL.

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[joaquim]

And finally, the combatants gathered at the FORUM took a trip down memory lane yesterday, recounting their favorite memories of things that made them laugh during their standoff with the authorities. For more on this story, or to nominate your own favorite FORUM shenanigans, please visit: http://www.funzio.com/forum/showthread.php?39360-The-Greatest-MW-Threads-That-Made-Us-LOL.

I'll count that as including me in a good way.

[albeezy]

I'll count that as including me in a good way.

You're welcome. It was a good idea for a thread. I still think we need something similar to your thread but where we could nominate things for Grammy's. That way we have a reference for next year's awards. Needs to be a sticky though. and you and boom and buggs couldnt spam it LOL

[joaquim]

You're welcome. It was a good idea for a thread. I still think we need something similar to your thread but where we could nominate things for Grammy's. That way we have a reference for next year's awards. Needs to be a sticky though. and you and boom and buggs couldnt spam it LOL

I have to give credit to WP for the idea. He's the one who brought up the thread about Gin having a mancrush on CCMark which led me to start that thread.

[Fl@sh]

I have no comment and I wish to speak with my lawyer...:confused:


http://i1257.photobucket.com/albums/ii520/natch82/56F129D6-E563-4B39-9EA1-DE142B68B73C-1831-000001B0C303D042.jpg

[Fl@sh]

http://i1257.photobucket.com/albums/ii520/natch82/C854E7F7-F2FB-4FB4-B961-FA2A6719E46C-1831-000001B1B811F42F.jpg

[albeezy]

@Fl@sh
Did you notice that your posts as they appeared on my wall said "you've officially been Fla@shed, awe shucks, COULD YOU PICK THAT UP FOR ME" I thought that was hilarious. Apparently my reply didnt get included in that exchange.

[Fl@sh]

@Fl@sh
Did you notice that your posts as they appeared on my wall said "you've officially been Fla@shed, awe shucks, COULD YOU PICK THAT UP FOR ME" I thought that was hilarious. Apparently my reply didnt get included in that exchange.LMAO! I just read that for what it says. Before I would envision your reply in the middle. I can't imagine what other people think...

[CAPT.GIN]

BRAKING NEWS!


The u.s. government has temporally shut down gree and there games to launch a full investigation, on complaints about scamming people and lieing to there customers!!! I will now go back to gathering more information for the public once I do I will report it! Thank you


- reporter gin

[albeezy]

nice try GIN...and tony3210, but your applications for the Modern War News are hereby denied in lieu of more qualified applicants

[CAPT.GIN]

Reporter gin


No it's true! Why do you think a lot of ppl have not been able to play any game today! I have also gathered more information! So far this is what I'm aloud to share with the public! Gree has been accused of failing to make there consumers happy with false advertisement and they also have failed to file there 2012 taxes!!!

[albeezy]

Reporter gin


No it's true! Why do you think a lot of ppl have not been able to play any game today! I have also gathered more information! So far this is what I'm aloud to share with the public! Gree has been accused of failing to make there consumers happy with false advertisement and they also have failed to file there 2012 taxes!!!

LMOA. They don't have to file their taxes for 2012 until at least April 15, 2013. You are clearly on your way to Harvard GIN! Also, just FYI, if I was to bring you on as a reporter for the Modern War News your reporter name would have to be Capt.Gizzle? LOL

[albeezy]

Good afternoon combatants. Today’s edition of the Modern War News is sponsored by colonEL BEEZY’s Scam Artist School. We’ll be back with today’s NEWS, right after this brief commercial break.

Commercial Break:

" Hola, coronEL BEEZY aquí. ¿Ha prestado apoyo financiero a las autoridades para que nos dijeran que nunca el arma NEW SUPER compró existido? ¿Te gustaría un reembolso? ¿Se siente estafado? ¿No te gustaría que se podía ser tan bueno como un artista de la estafa a las autoridades? A continuación, intente Escuela CoronEL BEEZY de estafa artista, donde el coronel Beezy, le enseñará a mentir tan bien que incluso se piensa que dijo la verdad. Clases de introducción incluyen Cómo mentir con una cara seria, Cómo mentir acerca de decir una mentira, Cómo mentir por mentir acerca de decir una mentira, y muchos más. Después de completar al menos 3 (me refiero a 4, ver que era una mentira) de estos cursos introductorios, puede pasar a la madre de todas las clases, cómo hacer dinero con tus mentiras. No estoy seguro si la escuela coronEL BEEZY de Scam Artist es la mejor escuela para su archivo. No confías en mí, sólo escucha a este testimonio.


colonEL BEEZY’s Scam Artist School is great. After completing my coursework and obtaining my Certificate in Scam Artistry, I was able to land a job quickly working in support for the authorities. Now I help the authorities SCAM people all over the world FOR MONEY! Thanks colonEL BEEZY!

Así que me quites el coronEL BEEZY, intente Escuela CoronEL BEEZY de estafa artista hoy!"

And now we take you live to the FORUM with our embedded reporter albeezy:
albeezy: "Hi, albeezy here reporting live from the FORUM. Today it seems that many of the combatants have had enough, and the time has come to REACT to the many failures of the authorities. The latest disdain for the shortcoming of the authorities stems from the lost blueprints which combatants were ordered to recover by the authorities. As you may recall, the Illuminati invaded the battlezones in search of the blueprints to the NEW SUPER WEAPON the Catalyst Tank. The authorities, in an effort to increase their financial support, offered to reward the combatant that recovered the most blueprints for the NEW SUPER WEAPON with the Catalyst Tank.

After many days, and a substantial effort in terms of both time and financial expenditures, combatant FERR triumphed in recovering the most blueprints. However, it seems that there were some technical difficulties and the authorities and the manufacturers were unable to have the NEW SUPER WEAPON prepared in time for combatant Ferr. After waiting patiently for several days, combatant Ferr inquired about the status of his missing NEW SUPER WEAPON and when it would arrive at his inventory. The authorities responded to combatant Ferr’s request by denying that it was ever offered as a reward and that the combatants could not be trusted with this NEW SUPER WEAPON.

As word of this response spread to the combatants gathered here at the FORUM, many of the combatants called for the authorities to resign. Some of the combatants demanded that combatant Ferr receive a refund from the taxing authority while others suggested that the courts should resolve the issue. One thing is clear, the authorities approval rating is at an all time low.

Amidst the days events, it has gone unnoticed that the ambassador to the authorities, CCMark, and his FORUM consuluate, (er), are nowhere to be seen. It has become commonplace here at the FORUM for the combatants to joke about the lack of interaction that CCMark and (er) have with the combatants at the FORUM. Many of the combatants have called into question whether an ambassador to the authorities is even needed when he provides so little in terms of clarity and communication on the policies of the authorities.

More recent evidence of the lack of communication between CCMark and the authorities can be seen upon a review of the anniversary celebration thrown by the authorities to celebrate the one year anniversary of their takeover of CRIME CITY. The authorities offered extravagantly crafted weapons and vehicles to the EVIL CRIME LORDS to entice them to show their financial support. However, the EVIL CRIME LORDS called out to the ambassador to the authorities, CCMark, for clarification on the various level of support necessary to receive these anniversary gifts. These calls were answered with silence and have yet to be answered by CCMark or his consulate (er).

With the one year anniversary of the authorities takeover of the battlezones looming in the near future, combatants can only hope that similar events do not occur amongst the battelzones.
With the apparent complete and total breakdown of communication between the authorities and the combatants, it seems that A NEW AMBASSADOR IS NEEDED. One that will communicate the policies of the authorities to the combatants and that will demand the authorities fulfill the promises made to their financial supporters. The combatants have long demanded that communication between the authorities and the combatants be a priority and that BAD NEWS IS BETTER THAN NO NEWS. However, the demand for communication has fallen on deaf ears. None more deaf than CCMark’s. He has failed in every single way to communicate with the combatants and to express the policies and decisions of the authorities. CCMark’s failure is further highlighted by the influx of combatants offering HACKS and CHEATS openly here at the FORUM.

At this time, many here are strongly encouraging financial supporters of the authorities to withdraw their financial support and they are recommending that these combatants seek retribution by taking their cause to the taxing authorities who have the power to refund the financial support. Will these super financial supporters draw a line in the sand and join the SUPERMEN who have already boycotted further financial support of the authorities, or will they cave at the next attempt by the authorities to entice them into making additional monetary contributions? Only time will tell. Reporting live from the FORUM for the Modern War News, I’m albeezy.

Thank you for that report albeezy. That’s all for this edition of the Modern War News. Until next time, stay classy combatants

DISCLAIMER: No animals were hurt in the creation of this message. This message is not sponsored by Gree and may not reflect the opinions of Gree or its agents. Please play Modern War Responsibly.

[spectra]

THERE SEEM TO BE RUMOURS THAT THE CATALYST TANK WENT "KAPOOT" WHICH IS WHY IT WAS NOT DELIVERED TO ITS RIGHTFULL OWNER, UNFORTUNATLY THE WARRANTY HAS ALREADY EXPIRED, SO FERR, MIGHT JUST GET A CONSOLATION PICTURE.....THIS EXPLOSION OF THE TANK HAS CAUSED ALL SERVERS TO SH$TDOWN, SO IT WILL TAKE GREEd A WHILE TO "CLEAN" ALL THE POOPBLICLY STORAGED DATA


WE NEED ALBEEZY TO GET ON THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!

[Mcdoc]

Thanks for the Honorable yet encoded mention :)

[albeezy]

Don't worry, you're not the only one that received shout outs via non-explicit naming. It's part of the fun of writing the news. Seeing if people actually figure it out!

And why are you up at 3 am on a tuesday?

[Baraka]

Just noticed that lol.

[thesyllable (er)]

I'm hearing your news Albeezy.....

Can some peeps forward me some of the cheat/hack posts? I'll take care of them. As for the game-specific communication around events, leaderboards, and prize distribution....we're working on improving (apologies if this isn't the answer you want to hear)

[albeezy]

I'm hearing your news Albeezy.....

Can some peeps forward me some of the cheat/hack posts? I'll take care of them. As for the game-specific communication around events, leaderboards, and prize distribution....we're working on improving (apologies if this isn't the answer you want to hear)

When did the FORUM get an audio feature to read the posts to us! Cool (er). Hope you were entertained

[Dr. Dengus]

Have you tried getting this published in the Wall Street Journal beezy, or at least your local newspaper? Lol.

[albeezy]

Have you tried getting this published in the Wall Street Journal beezy, or at least your local newspaper? Lol.
HAHA No, I havent tried that, besides why tarnish the News with that trash? LOL

[Mcdoc]

Don't worry, you're not the only one that received shout outs via non-explicit naming. It's part of the fun of writing the news. Seeing if people actually figure it out!

And why are you up at 3 am on a tuesday?

I'm a DJ - I am Rarely in bed before 3am. :)

And I'm rarely out of bed before 1pm - LoL

[albeezy]

I'm a DJ - I am Rarely in bed before 3am. :)

And I'm rarely out of bed before 1pm - LoL

Don't forget to tip your waitresses and bartenders, NOW GIVE A WARM ROUND OF APPLAUSE AND PILE OF $1 BILLS TO DIAMOND ON THE MAIN STAGE! Mercedes stage next, Mercedes stage next, I need you to come see me in the DJ booth