Tramp Stamp
02-12-2012, 11:33 PM
First thing I do is pull out my trusty compass and ensure I am facing magnetic north. Not many know this but magnetic north can move 35 miles per year! That translates to 506 feet per day!!1one If you live in Canada you have your work cut out for you, eh? BTW, you can't use just any compass. It must be a Silva or at least Brunton for Yanks who want "Made in U.S.A." for inferior quality. DON'T USE THE COMPASS IN YOUR IPHONE IT WAS DESIGNED BY COMMIES AND CAN DETONATE U.S. MAVERICK MISSILES!!!
Next I secure my chair. It is built upon a 360° rotating swivel with clamps. Once the chair itself is secured, I secure myself with straps. You can add straps yourself. A wooden chair helps but I bought mine, an old wooden electrocution execution chair, at a prison liquidation auction. That it was used to kill hundreds of people gives me the motivation to get the orientation right. Sometimes I wet a sponge and stick it into my recently shaved head for extra motivation.
Once I am 100.01% sure I am facing magnetic north I am ready to loot M4 A1s. Time to go to Nadya, right? WRONG! Boardwalk? You ignorant cocksucker. If you knew anything about M4 A1 farming you'd know we need to "prime the pump" at Junkyard. But you don't because you are a moron. Otherwise why would you be reading my thread you slobbering addle-pate???? First unload exactly 570 energy. And do it with your eyes closed. You'll need to develop muscle memory in order to accurately tap the scrap box with your eyes closed. In my case it took 3 months of 8 hours per day. The effort is worth it. DON'T CHEAT BY OPENING YOUR EYES THIS PART IS IMPORTANT!!!
Okay, now that Nadya is nerfed (de-slutted), we're back to Boardwalk. Hit the Shooting Game EXACTLY ONCE!!!! Now we're ready to do it again, right? WRONG IDIOT MORON. CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID YOU ARE YOU ARE NOT PRO!!! By this point magnetic north has moved by 0.351388888 inches so we need to unstrap ourselves, unlock the chair, get out our trusty (superior Swedish made) compass and realign ourselves and start all over. Repeat the above steps but DO NOT REPRIME THE PUMP AT JUNKYARD THE PUMP IS ALREADY PRIMED!!!! DOUBLE PRIMING THE PUMP WILL OVERLOAD THE M4 A1 LUCK MECHANISM AND WILL CAUSE BAD LUCK FOR 2.85 WEEKS!!!!!
OK once we've readjusted for the 0.351388888 inches we're ready for one more trial at Boardwalk BUT ONLY ONE YOU MUST REALIGN EACH TIME!!!! IF YOU DON'T YOU MULTIPLY THE BAD LUCK 65535³² TIMES!!!!! IF YOU DO IT WRONG YOU MUST SAY YOU'RE SORRY ON 100 PEOPLE'S WALLS OR YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE WILL NOT ONLY REJECT YOU BUT HE/SHE WILL DIE ON THE NEAREST THURSDAY IN A BLOODBATH WITH LUDICROUS GIBS!!! DO YOU WANT A BLOODBATH WITH LUDICROUS GIBS??? NO??? THEN DO THE ******* MOTHER ****ING LOOTING PROCESS RIGHT YOU MILQUETOAST LOSER!!!!
This method will work until geomagnetic reversal. At that point the earth's magnetic field will collapse temporarily but it will be long enough for solar winds to irradiate all life on earth. This, the "end of the world", is expected in 2012. At this point, looting M4s will be virtually impossible so make sure to stock up now.
Next I secure my chair. It is built upon a 360° rotating swivel with clamps. Once the chair itself is secured, I secure myself with straps. You can add straps yourself. A wooden chair helps but I bought mine, an old wooden electrocution execution chair, at a prison liquidation auction. That it was used to kill hundreds of people gives me the motivation to get the orientation right. Sometimes I wet a sponge and stick it into my recently shaved head for extra motivation.
Once I am 100.01% sure I am facing magnetic north I am ready to loot M4 A1s. Time to go to Nadya, right? WRONG! Boardwalk? You ignorant cocksucker. If you knew anything about M4 A1 farming you'd know we need to "prime the pump" at Junkyard. But you don't because you are a moron. Otherwise why would you be reading my thread you slobbering addle-pate???? First unload exactly 570 energy. And do it with your eyes closed. You'll need to develop muscle memory in order to accurately tap the scrap box with your eyes closed. In my case it took 3 months of 8 hours per day. The effort is worth it. DON'T CHEAT BY OPENING YOUR EYES THIS PART IS IMPORTANT!!!
Okay, now that Nadya is nerfed (de-slutted), we're back to Boardwalk. Hit the Shooting Game EXACTLY ONCE!!!! Now we're ready to do it again, right? WRONG IDIOT MORON. CAN'T BELIEVE HOW STUPID YOU ARE YOU ARE NOT PRO!!! By this point magnetic north has moved by 0.351388888 inches so we need to unstrap ourselves, unlock the chair, get out our trusty (superior Swedish made) compass and realign ourselves and start all over. Repeat the above steps but DO NOT REPRIME THE PUMP AT JUNKYARD THE PUMP IS ALREADY PRIMED!!!! DOUBLE PRIMING THE PUMP WILL OVERLOAD THE M4 A1 LUCK MECHANISM AND WILL CAUSE BAD LUCK FOR 2.85 WEEKS!!!!!
OK once we've readjusted for the 0.351388888 inches we're ready for one more trial at Boardwalk BUT ONLY ONE YOU MUST REALIGN EACH TIME!!!! IF YOU DON'T YOU MULTIPLY THE BAD LUCK 65535³² TIMES!!!!! IF YOU DO IT WRONG YOU MUST SAY YOU'RE SORRY ON 100 PEOPLE'S WALLS OR YOUR ONE TRUE LOVE WILL NOT ONLY REJECT YOU BUT HE/SHE WILL DIE ON THE NEAREST THURSDAY IN A BLOODBATH WITH LUDICROUS GIBS!!! DO YOU WANT A BLOODBATH WITH LUDICROUS GIBS??? NO??? THEN DO THE ******* MOTHER ****ING LOOTING PROCESS RIGHT YOU MILQUETOAST LOSER!!!!
This method will work until geomagnetic reversal. At that point the earth's magnetic field will collapse temporarily but it will be long enough for solar winds to irradiate all life on earth. This, the "end of the world", is expected in 2012. At this point, looting M4s will be virtually impossible so make sure to stock up now.