View Full Version : Your Mafia's Logic.

11-06-2011, 10:19 AM
Just an experiment. I can't be the only one who is absolutely puzzled at certain requirements for jobs. So rather than *****ing let's make up our own stories as to why you need 27 knives to dump toxic waste. Or 30 bats to beat up one person. Here's my go:

The infamous blue container dialogue:

Stupid Hoodling: "Boss, I got a great gig scoped! We stealthily hide our supplies in an unused container at the Junkyard. Might even find some other goodies when we are there!"

Boss: "Aiit. Do it. Take Jimmy Toothless with you and go."

Mafia Advisor: "WHOA. whoa.. Wadda ya doin?? Can't just do a gig with no swagger! Take 8 bikes, 20 Uzis, drive around the container and pepper it full holes first. THEN you carefully plant the package in there. That way we get rep and firmly mark our territory! HAHAA!"

Stupid Hoodling: "But..""

Mafia Advisor: "Did I studder?? Go!"

Or the suger in the tank dialogue:

Stupid Hoodling: "Ey that foreman is acting like a royal tit, we need to make an example to show our dominance.."

Boss: *high as a kite*: "Teehee! Go sugar his tank come nightfall and leave a note with at least three "or else" sentences" *snicker*

Stupid Hoodling: "Im on it!"

Mafia Advisor intercepts Stupid Hoodling and whispers: "You know the boss is feeling a little under the weather.. Go do the gig, no problem. But... Take 40 shotguns. Make your own sugar rounds. And pump about 300 slugs into that tank in broad daylight when the foreman is at work and his car is just outside his office. That'll do. That'll do.."

Stupid Hoodling: "Are you sure thi..."
Mafia Advisor: " DID I STUDDER? Get da fook ouda ere!"


11-06-2011, 12:37 PM
I think you're clearly overlooking the possibility of breakage! I mean, if you're going to hit someone with a crowbar, there's always the chance they have a metal plate in their head. Then when you keep doing that, you end up with like... 20 bent crowbars. Now if you're organized, keeping all your crowbars in one box, sometimes it's quicker to bring the whole box than to search through it to find the one straight one.

With guns, same deal only maybe you're having difficulty keeping track which one has the bullets in it.

You see? Totally reasonable to bring 24 crowbars and 19 machine pistols for like 5 guys... only a couple of them still work. It's just a shame that we're all pack rats and keep hanging on to the broken ones.

11-06-2011, 04:21 PM
new consumable: crowbars ^.^

I lol'd at the image of someone breaking a crowbar over someone's head!

Joe Crime
11-06-2011, 05:09 PM
@LEETFEET duuuude that was hilarious lol lol lol

11-06-2011, 05:42 PM
Haha, awesome.

I always thought that was pretty ridiculous. I pictured 40 guys with bats all attempting to get close enough to some guy on the street to "beat him up" -when it would obviously kill the crap out of him.