Crime city jokes

[Phillip99]

Setting: deep in the hood.
Gang member : what you doin in this neighborhood, you lost or just stupid?
Crime city player: it's coo man, I'm in a gang too, we called the silent assassins

[Phillip99]

Q: Why does no one ever see or hear from the Loch Ness monster?

A: he got a job as a crime city forum moderator.

[John_Locke]

Q: Why does no one ever see or hear from the Loch Ness monster?

A: he got a job as a crime city forum moderator.

Shots fired!

[Phillip99]

The art of war: hey, we should hang out, we have a lot in common, we win everytime too.
Michael Jordon: I don't think so
Taow: you mean you didn't beat Barkley and Karl Malone by tapping rapidly??

[Sleazy_P_Martini]

How many gree developers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware issue. It can't be done.

[Dipstik]

Montecore.

[Nighteg]

Here's a good joke:

http://i.imgur.com/kL3OjFp.png

[madnoob]

Q: Why does no one ever see or hear from the Loch Ness monster?

A: he got a job as a crime city forum moderator.

Thats awesome well played son well played

[Oasis]

Q: How did Gree break Volkswagen's world record?
A: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!

[Oasis]

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, and howl in pain and anger!"
He now works for Gree, writing error messages.

[Oasis]

The day Gree makes something that doesn't suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.

[Oasis]

What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Gree?

One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.

[Oasis]

A group of Gree managers were given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole thing is just a mess. A Gree tester comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away. After the Gree tester has gone, one Gree manager turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like a Gree tester, we're looking for the height and he gives us the length."

[Oasis]

99 little bugs in the code
99 bugs in the code
patch one down, compile it around
138 little bugs in the code

[Oasis]

Q: Do you know why Gree went public?
A: They couldn't figure out the privacy settings!

[Oasis]

ALGORITHM
noun

Word used by programmers when they do not want to explain what they did

[Max Power]

LOL.....looks like Oasis had a few of these in the bank.

[Oasis]

Ok....Enough for now... I've spent all afternoon at my desk screwing around... Gree you hiring?

[Phillip99]

Ok....Enough for now... I've spent all afternoon at my desk screwing around... Gree you hiring?
Thanks for contributing Oasis. Way to be in the spirit.

[Nighteg]

Why is this in off topic? All of it is true.

[Heapsofblue]

Great thread....keep it going..

[Phillip99]

Gree family counseling:

Patient: Doc, my father is abusing me and my mother says it's my fault, can you help me?

Doc: yes, of course, the solution is simple: buy more gold

[Phillip99]

Gree customer service:

For service today, we have.......our customer's wallets.

[Phillip99]

As part of bill gates' efforts to give back he advises other companies so that they may have as much success as Microsoft. As part of this effort gates came to a strategy session at gree.

Gates' message to gree: make sure your customers can depend on you and they will continue to come back

What gree heard: make sure your customers are dependent on you and they will continue to come back

[Thatkidyouknow]

Montecore.

Two Montecores. That might be evil.

[Phillip99]

Q: what is out of control, doesn't care who it hurts, costs people hundreds or even thousands of dollars, and has the potential to destroy people's lives completely?

A: a GREEse fire

[Phillip99]

Q: an adjective for someone of low moral character, who tries to deceive people, and whose goal is to get people to spend more money on things than they are worth( such as a used car salesman)?

A: GREEsy

[Phillip99]

Q: a color associated with greed and lust for money

A: GREEn

[John_Locke]

Just realised the mods will delete my thread, and there goes my goodbye! So I'll repost it here. After all, it is somewhat laughable I take the online forum of a phone game so seriously. But is it really the game, or is it the people that I've grown so attached to?

Goodbye as follows:

My last post, probably ever. Like Cincinatus, I'll retire to my farm, plowing, harvesting and repeating into eternity. Special thanks to freaking Montecore for not only responding, but actually fulfilling my last request. As a fan of yours for the past year, thank you. I thoroughly appreciate it.

Farewell, my friends. I'll still be here, reading, always watching. Have fun.

[Jeronimo]

Just realised the mods will delete my thread, and there goes my goodbye! So I'll repost it here. After all, it is somewhat laughable I take the online forum of a phone game so seriously. But is it really the game, or is it the people that I've grown so attached to?

Goodbye as follows:

My last post, probably ever. Like Cincinatus, I'll retire to my farm, plowing, harvesting and repeating into eternity. Special thanks to freaking Montecore for not only responding, but actually fulfilling my last request. As a fan of yours for the past year, thank you. I thoroughly appreciate it.

Farewell, my friends. I'll still be here, reading, always watching. Have fun.

If you leave, why would you come back to check a forum if your topic is still on the forums?! I really don't get that. Apparantly you're addicted.

[Jeronimo]

My last post, probably ever.
source (http://forums.gree.net/showthread.php?104096-My-last-day/page2) best joke eva

[John_Locke]

If you leave, why would you come back to check a forum if your topic is still on the forums?! I really don't get that. Apparantly you're addicted.

Aww. Someone wanted his own goodbye.

Edit: In the old days, CJ would've flexed and brought the ban hammer down with the ferocity of a thousand righteous moderators. Maybe I got off Scott free... If so, my goodbye threads will make me feel just a little silly.

[Phillip99]

I have not got a lot of feedback about my jokes, so I'm assuming people are not interested or do not think they are funny. I am not planning on doing anymore jokes unless there is a demand. Please let me know if you would or would not like more jokes. Here is one last one:

Q what is the difference in how the nazis treated the Jews and how gree treats its customers?

A nothing

[John_Locke]

I like your jokes! Not the last one though. Maybe, "at least the Nazis told the Jews they hated them."

[MW Flake]

I just found them today and am lmao.

[Phillip99]

Q why did gree take over crime city from funzio?

A. They wanted to take out the FUNzio


Q. What does gree have in common with a rain delay during a football game?

A. They both know how to ruin a good thing.